Sandwich jokes
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
Sandwiches are yummy! 😋
Why do Vampires like virgins?
Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."
What did the bread say to the peanut butter? "I think your nuts."
Wife: (on phone) Hi. Husband: Hey, I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.
There is only one reason why I find women useful.
That is because they make sandwiches, but that is about it.
You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.
I took a bite of my lunch. “Is that a sand witch?!”
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.
Woman: What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich?
Husband: I know! How about you COMEBACK with a goddamn sandwich?
Why don’t Belgians eat shit sandwiches?
They don’t fancy bread!
Mustard
Peanut butter 🧈?
Where do astronauts 👩🚀 keep their sandwiches 🥪?
In their launch box! 🚀📦😂
What do you call a sandwich 🥪 full of envy?
Peanut Butter n' Jealousy! 😂
My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said, "You better come back with a goddamn sandwich!"
I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"