Said jokes

We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?

“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”

What if Hitler did not say "bombs away," he said "lambs are slayed?"

Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.

Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"

Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”

Once, there were two cupcakes in the furnace. One cupcake said, "It's kinda hot in here." The other one said, "Hah, a talking cupcake!"

I went to a truck on wheels, they said, "Wheel feed you."

I saw a cyclist in the road today, so I ran over him and he said in a robotic voice, "SHUTTING DOWN!"

What did the skeleton say after dinner?

Bon appétit!

A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.

He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.

I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"

A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"

The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."

I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."

And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"

The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.

I go 7u7. I said I go 7u7. Get Rick and rolled, my son.

My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."

When they were going around giving out brains and you thought they were saying "train," so you said, "No thanks, I’ll take the next one!" 🤣

One man said, "Do you need 20 bucks?"

The other said, "Do you have that many?"

Five people went to a store and asked for a menu. The waitress said, "I will be right back."

I went to China and said, "I have a big cock," so they thought I said they look like a cock. Then I realized I said it in English.