Said jokes

The village people said that they need their idiot back; you better get going!

I go 7u7. I said I go 7u7. Get Rick and rolled, my son.

My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"

Five people went to a store and asked for a menu. The waitress said, "I will be right back."

Once, there were two cupcakes in the furnace. One cupcake said, "It's kinda hot in here." The other one said, "Hah, a talking cupcake!"

During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said, "Berry Christmas!"

There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"

I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."

And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"

I approached her in the checkout line and said, "Yo baby wassup?"

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.

Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"

I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.

I was walking, and I saw an orphan, and I said, "Where are your parents?"

I went to China and said, "I have a big cock," so they thought I said they look like a cock. Then I realized I said it in English.

A jumping cable walked into a bar and the bartender said,

"I will serve you, but don't start anything!"

What did the skeleton say after dinner?

Bon appétit!

Guys, do not follow Tom, he is super inappropriate. I did a 48-hour face reveal and this is what he said:

Tom 13 minutes ago Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ur so cute I wanna fuck your pussy so hard you look amazing I luv ur face come have sex with me mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class.

And then he said, "Hey, you donkey!"

I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you!" And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular? Sorry.

Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong-king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said, "I am Chong-king." I said I know your name is Chong-king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.

Anyone know what happened?

I went to an interview and my future boss said, "Hi, my name is Watt Niseto, meet you."

Then said, "WHAT IS UR NAME?" He then said,

"What is not my name, Watt is." So I replied, "Ugh fine, I guess I'll call you Wha." Then he said, "Wha I not my name."

And then I said, "Ugh fine, my name is Will Knott." He then replied, "Hi Will Not."

I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.

So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”