Said jokes

Yo mama's so stupid, she drowned in the pond because the sign said, "No Swimming!"

In geometry class, the teacher went up to the board and drew a 23-degree angle.

She then drew a 67-degree angle. The class was astonished when the angles started talking! The first one said, "That's a lovely blouse you're wearing," and the second one chimed in, "And I love what you've done with your hair."

The students asked the teacher if she knew what was going on. She sighed and said, "Well, these angles are supposed to be complementary, but I guess they don't know how to spell."

Comment anything if you liked the picture of Kenya in her bra!

Hint: It was a red bra with pink strips! And it said, "I love everyone!"

#she is sex*

Yo mama so dumb, when Fox Five said it's chilly outside, she brought a bowlllllll!

The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"

The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"

Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”

The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”

Guess who dies next.

I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."

Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.

My mom told me to get a job, so I did.

One day my mom saw me, I had money. My mom asked me where did you get that money? My mom asked me where did you get that money. I said I got a job in the neighborhood. My mom asked me what do you do, so I said when you take showers I secretly open the door, and I let the guys come and see you one by one, and I get paid for it.

My mom said you're growing up so fast, & I said back to my mom that is what the guys say when they see you in the shower.

Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"

Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."

Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?

She sat on Pinocchio's face and said: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

I was in a maze and I got to the end and they congratulated me. I said that was a-maze-ing!

I must have raped a woman in a skip. She said she felt rubbish.

I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."

I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."

My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."

I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."

She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."