Said jokes

I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."

Yo mama's so fat, when she walked by the TV when I was watching a show, I waited, and when she finally passed by, Netflix said suggestions: Hulu, and Peacock.

Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"

Goofy ahh grandpa fell down the stairs, and he said, "Damn!"

Yo mama so ugly that when the Kool-Aid Man busted through her wall, he said, “Oh no!”

The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.

Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.

I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.

But I got fired from that job.

One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.

It got too out of hand and I got spanked.

Your hairline goes even further back than the last time your parents said "I love you."

Stephen Hawking said he wants other physicists to follow in his footsteps.

My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?

Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale and it said a.k.a. "error."

My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.

There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.

When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.

The doctor said, "You're all right now."

The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.

That’s like 20 years from now, I said.

He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.

My friend was playing a game and said he was fighting cultists, so I said Kanye's fanbase.

A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."

The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"

The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."

Your mama is so stupid.

Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."

You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."