Said jokes

I accidentally said, "Go cry to your mom," to an orphan. 😭

An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."

My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.

Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.

Hitla: That's exactly what I said.

What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"

What did the girl say Big Fella27 said, "I love Big Fella 27?"

"Same." HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH

My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."

Yo mama is so dumb, her reflection said, "Who are you?"

Yo mama so dumb, when she looked at the light, she said, "Why is the sun so close to me?"

There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."

Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"

Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.

What did the pen say to the pencil?

The pen said, "You're pointy."

My mom said, "Hey, come over here."

I responded, "Too late, Mom!"

What did the tomato say to the tomato ketchup?

When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."

A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"

Dad said, "It is, Son."

Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"

One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"

You're so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.

One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"