Safety jokes
When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃
When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟
What did the traffic light say to the truck?
"Don't look, I'm about to change!"
The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.
Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!
Roses are red.
I have free candy. Get in my van. I have free candy!
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."
What’s one good thing about a pedophile?
They drive slow in school zones.
What are the best shooting ranges in America?
Schools.
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
A man was walking with a young boy in the woods.
The boy looks at the man and says, "Mister, it's too dark and I'm getting scared."
The man replies with, "How do you think I feel? I have to come back alone!"
How do you get the depressed kid out of the tree? You cut the rope.
Give a man a match; he will be warm for hours.
Set him on fire; he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Guys, I know this is kinda weird, but everyone who wants to... Put your name and your age in the comment section. Not address though because that would not be good for creepers... Lol I am Lucy and I am 15 years old. What about you guys? :D
"Zre, um, be careful when using a gun, okay? And meh not fat, boy."
Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.
Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.
Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.
Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?
When I found out that my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.
"Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else."