Guys, I know this is kinda weird, but everyone who wants to... Put your name and your age in the comment section. Not address though because that would not be good for creepers... Lol I am Lucy and I am 15 years old. What about you guys? :D
Safety Jokes
"Zre, um, be careful when using a gun, okay? And meh not fat, boy."
Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.
Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.
Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.
Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?
When I found out that my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.
"Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else."
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
When the school shooter finds you under the table,
"Wonderful weather we're having!"
Roses are red, fishers are fishing,
I really hope you’ll be reported missing.
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
Everyone, just as a warning, stay AWAY from Akeld!
Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking.
Abandon ship!
Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. That's the third one this week and it's only Monday.
I'm shocked, my new toaster isn't waterproof.
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.
When the autistic kid brings a gun to school and thinks it’s a dart gun.
What's yellow and can't swim but screams when it goes under?
A school bus full of kids.
