Safety jokes
What begins with F and ends with CK?
Fuck, I mean fire truck.
When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.
Why did the wall fall over?
A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.
Why can’t the baby cross the road?
Walls.
Me: dozes off while driving. Everybody else on the passenger plane on September 11.
When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.
My grandpa may be a pedo, but at least he slows down in the school car park.
Hiiiiiiiii, I said, Man, want candy? Me, YESSSSSS! Me, gets kidnaped.
What is a paedo's favourite time of year?
Halloween because they get free delivery.
Tip for Kindness for the day.
Tip one. Always speak up for yourself.
Yes, letting someone else speak up for you is nice but also speak up for yourself, be brave if a mean bully comes along. Speak up for yourself and others if they need it. Best, Gwen
What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?
You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.
You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.
I'm in school shooting. #USA
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
What do you call a fat girl with a rape alarm?
Optimistic.
When the speedbump in a school zone screams, so you go faster.
What happened to the dog that crossed the road?
Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?
My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!
It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.