Run jokes
I met a baseball player, so I told him to make a home run, and he just looked at me with sadness. I don't know why.
By the way, he was an orphan.
I want to run. I go Iran, because I RAN, not IRAN, because it’s an Iran joke about the country, not the movement.
Your hairline is so far back, when your forehead was playing tag, your hairline ran away real far.
Why did the orphan run away?
They wanted to go home.
Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.
What can run, be an eyesore, and practice social distancing?
Your hairline.
God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.
People of Earth: *running and screaming*
Santen: *to God* Really?
What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?
One has a home to run to.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
You don't have to worry about running while boys are around. Even I can't see anything there.
My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”
Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
She keeps on running from the ball.
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
"Is your refiger running?"
"Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it!"
What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?
"Get to the ground, beef!"