Run jokes
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.
A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.
Teacher: Don’t run into the road!
Down syndrome: Weeeeee!
Teacher: Lol, now he’s a mashed potato.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.
How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a square room and tell her to run in a circle.
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"
Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.
Why did Hellen Keller's dogs run away?
Because wouldn't you runway too if your name was djhdhekdndyekedhekekfjkfurir?
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
Your hairline's so far back that Usain Bolt had to run 50 miles away from you!