My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”
Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?
"Get to the ground, beef!"
Run, bestie, run!
I would invite you to play baseball, but there's no home for you to run to.
I met a baseball player, so I told him to make a home run, and he just looked at me with sadness. I don't know why.
By the way, he was an orphan.
I want to run. I go Iran, because I RAN, not IRAN, because it’s an Iran joke about the country, not the movement.
Your hairline is so far back, when your forehead was playing tag, your hairline ran away real far.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.
People of Earth: *running and screaming*
Santen: *to God* Really?
What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?
One has a home to run to.
Your hairline's so far back that Usain Bolt had to run 50 miles away from you!
Why did the orphan run away?
They wanted to go home.
What can run, be an eyesore, and practice social distancing?
Your hairline.
Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal.
What do you call Joyce when she's running from the Russians?
Winona Hider.
