Run jokes
How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a square room and tell her to run in a circle.
Teacher: Don’t run into the road!
Down syndrome: Weeeeee!
Teacher: Lol, now he’s a mashed potato.
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”
Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”
Memes
What do you call Joyce when she's running from the Russians?
Winona Hider.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal.
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.
What can run, be an eyesore, and practice social distancing?
Your hairline.
Your hairline's so far back that Usain Bolt had to run 50 miles away from you!
Your hairline is so far back, when your forehead was playing tag, your hairline ran away real far.
Why did the orphan run away?
They wanted to go home.
God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.
People of Earth: *running and screaming*
Santen: *to God* Really?
I want to run. I go Iran, because I RAN, not IRAN, because it’s an Iran joke about the country, not the movement.
What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?
One has a home to run to.
Why did Naruto run fast?
Because he tried to get away from himself.