Run jokes

Two Australians walk into a bar. They run into the ceiling fan immediately.

My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.

I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.

Your mum is so ugly she made Paul Walker run.

"Knock knock?"

"Who's there?"

"Depression"

"Depression wh-"

ME!! *runs away*

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't run home.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from Kernel Sanders.

Hehehe

Our family is known for unusually sloppy diarrhea.

It runs in our jeans.

Daughter: Where was I born?

Dad: Alabama.

Daughter: That is nice.

Mum: We have never been to Alabama.

Dad: RUN!

If Red gets voted out, what happened?

Red is not voted out, Red is a hacker, so he kills Blue. OK, so someone found Blue's body. Red said, "Where?"

Lime, Green, and Purple said, "How is Red not dead?"

Red: "I am a hacker, you noobs!"

Lime, Green, and Purple run.

Red killed them all. Red is the win, but he is not the win.

Black killed Red. Black is the win.

LOL

Little Johnny once was at a camp and asked his teacher if he could sleep with her because he was homesick, so the teacher said yes. A few seconds later, Little Johnny asked if he could run his finger in her bellybutton, and she said yes.

A few seconds later, she moaned and felt so good, but it was not his finger putting it down her bellybutton; it was his dick and her penis.

A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.

First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."

Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.

Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide

I am sick and tired of horror movies; it is always the stupid ones that die first. When you see a guy in a dark, bloody coat and a knife, he ain't there to just look at yah run; don't scream, run!

Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.

Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"

This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs.

Why are people so good at basketball? They can run, steal, and shoot!

Stephen Hawking died because his wheelchair couldn’t run Windows 10.

What time is it when you smell garbage? Time to run!

I was riding my bike down the road!

When a car started coming, I started running.

It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)

A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.

I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...

Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?

Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.

Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!

Me: You can't kick me out.

Manager: Why not? Huh?

Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.