I love when I could run throw the grass and feel the wind on my face. Then my mom told me to get off VR and then I wheeled myself to her
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!” Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny’s mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?” “No,” said his mom, “Of course not.” Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
why did the prisoner run away? to spit bars
If you were driving when all the sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes you sick bastard.
Battery 1%
I take one last look at earth as my suit runs out of power
A russian, a brit and a terrorist are in an air balloon. First the russian says "i dare to throw a stone down" So he does that but the others dont seem to be impressed so the brit says " i dare to throw a brick down " so again he does that, the russian is impressed but the terrorist laughs and says " i dare to throw a bomb down " so he does that and everybody cant believe what they have just seen so a bit further they land and a shocked and an afraid little boy comes running up to them so they ask what happened, on wich the little boy said " I farted and my school exploded".
There were 5 people on an airplane. 1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world
The plane takes off, A good, solid 1 hour in, The pilot comes out and says "Ok guys, I have good news and bad news, Bad News is the plane is gonna crash, The good news is that I have 4 parachutes" The pilot says to his passengers, " Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes, People depend on me" Took a parachute and went out. The businessman stands up and says " Well I'm a businessman, I run companies" Took a parachute and went out The smartest person in the world stands up and says " I'm the smartest person in the world, No one is smarter than me" Took a parachute and went out Now the minister says to the school child " Well God has given me a good life, I want you to take the last parachute" and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says " Why are you smiling?!, We're about to die!!!!" and the school child says to the minister "Well actually not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, i'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have. 10 minutes later kills himself.
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal
y r ofans bad at bassball cos thay can't hit home runs
I went to a tall girl and i asked her ̈ what do you do for a living? ̈ she says ̈ an account. ̈ so i reply with ̈ an accounting the hairs on peoples heads. ̈ and then i run away
Good lord, any tips on how to kidnap children. I say free candy and they run
This disabled girl stared rolling after me so I ran to the stairs
why cant you run with pencil in the hallway : cuz to many people got killed
why cant orphan play baseball they cant run home.
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.