Rope jokes

What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.

Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.

That’s about to become a rope around my neck.

What's the difference between me and a rope?

A rope will hang with you.

What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?

Stopping it with a shovel.

Towing ropes can't be learned. They must be taut.

Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.

What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?

The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.

How can you save a depressed person from a tree?

You cut the rope.

How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.

Man: Can you be my girlfriend?

Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.

Man: Oh, here's your rope.

When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"

I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.

Why have there been so many deaths around the world?

Trees and ropes.

An emo girl jumped out of a tree at the same time a feather fell to the ground... What hit the ground first?

The feather, the girl was stopped by a rope.

What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?

An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.

What did the kangaroo 🦘 bring to the cookout?

A jump rope!

You should never leave a man hanging.

Unless they are still alive.

I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"

So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."

He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."

One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.

They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.