Rope Jokes

What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?

Murder.

One day, there are friends having fun.

Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."

And they all agree.

Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.

How were tire swings made?

A tire said, "Goodbye world," and hung himself.

My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.

When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!

Ah yes Google vs Bing

The image is a comparison between Google and Bing search results when searching for suicide-related topics. Google shows an image of a smiling man, whereas Bing shows an image with the text "kill yourself". Below, Amazon recommends buying a ladder and a rope as frequently bought together.

Why don't you take emo skydiving?

They cut the rope.

What is an emo's favorite game?

To delete Cut the Rope.

Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!

Which one fell first, the Emo Kid or the apple?

The apple, because the rope caught the kid.

How do you make an emo mad at you?

Cut the rope.

What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?

You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.

Did you know curing boredom is quite simple?

For instance, you could pretend to be an apple by tying a rope around your neck for a stem.

I refuse to go bungee jumping. I was brought into this world from broken plastic, and I REFUSE to die the same way.

What do you call an elite bungee jumper? An emo kid.

An adopted kid is walking to school when an emo kid approaches him. He says the emo kid, "Do you have rope?"

"No," replies the adopted kid.

"Dang it! I hate you," says the emo kid. "Now the adopted one is angry. Well, at least I'm loved," says the adopted kid.

If you know an emo kid, please stay away. The depression is contagious. I'm a survivor.

Like if you dislike emos.

So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.

But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."

So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.

This was the best day of my life.

This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.

There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:

"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."

Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"

The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"