Rope

Rope Jokes

Emo

What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?

Murder.

Tree

One day, there are friends having fun.

Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."

And they all agree.

Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.

Tire

How were tire swings made?

A tire said, "Goodbye world," and hung himself.

  • 1
  • Emo

    My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.

    Emo kid

    When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!

    Police Officer

    Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!

    Apple

    Which one fell first, the Emo Kid or the apple?

    The apple, because the rope caught the kid.

    Bridge

    What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?

    You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.

    Boredom

    Did you know curing boredom is quite simple?

    For instance, you could pretend to be an apple by tying a rope around your neck for a stem.

    Bungee Jumping

    I refuse to go bungee jumping. I was brought into this world from broken plastic, and I REFUSE to die the same way.

    Emo

    An adopted kid is walking to school when an emo kid approaches him. He says the emo kid, "Do you have rope?"

    "No," replies the adopted kid.

    "Dang it! I hate you," says the emo kid. "Now the adopted one is angry. Well, at least I'm loved," says the adopted kid.

    If you know an emo kid, please stay away. The depression is contagious. I'm a survivor.

    Like if you dislike emos.

    Emo

    So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.

    But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."

    So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.

    This was the best day of my life.

    This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.

  • 2
  • Fireman

    There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:

    "I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."

    Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"

    The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"

    Cliffhanger

    Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.

    Actor: Really? What do I do?

    Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)

    Buddy

    Rope: Hey buddy! Want to hang?

    Me: Maybe I can hang later...

    Cock: Can I have attention from your Dad now?