Rope jokes

There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:

"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."

Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"

The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"

If an emo and a leaf are in a tree, which one will fall first?

Answer: The leaf. The rope saved the emo.

Rope: Hey buddy! Want to hang?

Me: Maybe I can hang later...

Cock: Can I have attention from your Dad now?

What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?

Stopping it with a shovel.

What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?

Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.

What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?

The rope.

I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.

What's the one game emos hate?

Cut the rope.

Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.

What is an emo kid's favorite Tool? A rope.

Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?

I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.

What's a depressed kid's least favorite game?

Cut the rope.

She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.

I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.

Two ropes meet. They ask each other, "Why are you wearing a hijab?" The other replies, "I want to go into the water now."

Why do emos love jumping in water?

Because it involves a rope.

Yo mama so fat...

That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!

My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."

Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"

Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"

Boy: "What do you mean?"

Friend and me: "We can show you."

Me: "I will tie the rope."

Friend: "I will push the chair."

My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.

Are you a rope? Let's hang out by a tree and drink :)