Rope jokes

How do you get my neighbor out of their tree?

You untie the rope.

When an emo kid jumps out of a tree, what happens when he hits the ground?

Nothin' much, he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope.

Go commit neck rope.

I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.

I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."

What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.

What did the rope say to my depressed ass?

~ Hey, you wanna hang?

What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?

Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.

A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.

What's an emo person's least favorite game? Cut The Rope.

After a suicide joke say, "Don't leave me hanging, or I'll cut it out."

You know what an emo gets for his birthday? A rope.

What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?

Do you want to hang later?

What is long, brown, and cures depression?

A noose.

What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?

They both hang.

Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.

I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.

What do you call a Sikh man standing on a rope? Balan Singh.

So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.

Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)

Frank: Yo

Fred: Hi...

Frank: U heard about de competition?

Fred: Yeah...

Frank: You wanna hang out?

Fred: .......

Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.

Fred: ...I(

Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.

Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.

Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.

That’s about to become a rope around my neck.