A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
Rope Jokes
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree, what happens when he hits the ground?
Nothin' much, he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope.
Go commit neck rope.
I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."
What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?
Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.
What did the rope say to my depressed ass?
~ Hey, you wanna hang?
What's an emo person's least favorite game? Cut The Rope.
After a suicide joke say, "Don't leave me hanging, or I'll cut it out."
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
You know what an emo gets for his birthday? A rope.
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
What did the two crewmates say when they were hanging on a rope? Polus up!
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
What's the difference between me and a rope?
A rope will hang with you.
