Room jokes

Jake: Can I go outside?

Mom: Did you clean your room?

Jake: No.

Mom: Then f*ck no.

Jake: Alright, bet.

(Brother named No)

There's a one-story house. Everything's yellow, even the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. What color are the stairs?

When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."

An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.

True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.

It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.

Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.

First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”

Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”

You walk into a room, and there’s a lot of people waiting in line to punch you... Yeah, that’s the punchline.

Stand in the corner.

Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.

What do you call a room with no doors?

One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"

How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?

QUEUE THE MUSIC

BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT

How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.

I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.

I called her the Fallen Angel.

Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.

Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.

Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.

I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.

I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.

(Male fantasy)

Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.

I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.