Romance jokes
Tongue Trick Sex: The Movie.
Not coming soon!
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind?
Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm stroking my dick and thinking of you.
My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me... It turns out that she was lying.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
Roses are red. Lemons are sour. Open your legs, so I can devour.
Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”
“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕
And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!
Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄
I wish you were a soap, because I want you all over me.
"I will Always Love You!"
"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."
The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/
A young Greek couple got married, and at their wedding...
...the mother of the bride took the bride aside for a quick chat.
"My sweet," she said, "you're now a woman. I'm so proud. Some advice for you now that you're married: Greek men are very particular, and at some point when you're making love to your new husband, he might suggest that you 'turn around,' if you know what I mean. If that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, do not feel pressured to say yes."
The bride thanked her mother for the advice, and the wedding continued. That night, as she and her husband consummated the marriage, she was mildly surprised to learn that he never asked her to 'turn around.'
They spent a beautiful week together on their honeymoon and made love many times. But still, to her mild surprise, her husband never asked her to 'turn around.'
Their one year anniversary arrived, and they made love to celebrate the milestone. But again, to her mild surprise, the husband never asked her to 'turn around.' This continued for years: their second anniversary, third, fourth...
Finally, on their fifth anniversary, her husband started getting romantic with her in bed and said, "Honey, we've been married for five years. I was thinking we maybe try something new. I thought this time you could 'turn around,' if you know what I mean."
She replied, emphatically, "No! No, I do not do that, I am not that kind of woman!"
Without getting defensive, her husband simply said, "That's all well and good, honey. But I thought you said you wanted children?"
What do you call a romance movie for Down syndrome people? Chromeo and Juliet.
Are you gay? Yeah, because I loved you.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Only.
Only who?
Only you make my heart beat fast.
What's a building's first crush? A plane.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Lay on the bed, So I can fuck you.
There are 206 bones in my body.
When I look at you, it becomes 207.
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?
One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.