Roast

Roast jokes

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Death

  • B: Can you please stop roasting me?

    A: At least the "roasting" that I did to you didn't burn you to death.

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    Time

  • Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.

    Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.

    Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.

    Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?

    Bully: How would you know that?

    Me: Because she told me herself.

    Bully: How exactly?

    Me: She's on the phone right now.

    Phone: *High pitched animal noises*

    Me: Told you so!

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    Penny

  • Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.

    Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."

    Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?

    Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.

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  • Apology

  • Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.

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