Roast jokes
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
You're so ugly that your birth certificate is an apology.
You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.
Bully: I wasn't talking to you.
Me: Then why are you listening?
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
Me: Why do you need to use shampoo when you are already bald? 🤣
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.
Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.
Do you want to hear a joke?
You.
You like to draw? Because I like the MD, raw :)
You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.
Hey... you kind of a sussy baka 😍😍🥵🥺🥰
The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)
Yo momma so fat that people jumped on her cuz they thought she was a school bus.
What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?
Pot roast.
Just 'cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want you. I’m shocked anyone would.