Roast

Roast jokes

Death

  • B: Can you please stop roasting me?

    A: At least the "roasting" that I did to you didn't burn you to death.

    Time

  • Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.

    Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.

    Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.

    Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?

    Bully: How would you know that?

    Me: Because she told me herself.

    Bully: How exactly?

    Me: She's on the phone right now.

    Phone: *High pitched animal noises*

    Me: Told you so!

  • 7
  • Mom

  • Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.

    Penny

  • Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.

    Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."

    Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?

    Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.

  • 4
  • Apology

  • Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.

  • 1