Roast jokes

1. Your face is so ugly, I thought it was deformed. It probably was anyways.

2. Even if Donald Trump had time to build a wall, it was probably so you won't squish us with your fatass.

If someone says your face is deformed, just say that's what happens when I look at you.

Welcome.

I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.

My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.

At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."

I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.

When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.

The direction I'm looking.

My sister said that you know that "that" is really cool. Then I said, "You know you can shut up."

You're so ugly whenever you say hi, people walk away and say that you were too ugly, and they go take a bath right away because you're so stinky.

They say that you look like your mama. Wait, your mama must be just like you because I can see her way from a mile!

You say you put on perfume, but every time I smell you, you smell like poo-poo. You're so ugly that when your mom looks in the mirror, you cry. You're so stupid the second-grade teacher had to tell you to go all the way to kindergarten. Head Start is every grade below you. You can't even go to the 20th grade, which stands for 9th grade. You can't even go to grocery stores, and people that tell you that you're so ugly give you compliments just to make you feel better. You know that everybody just likes you just because they just don't want to hurt your feelings, so just stay in your mind. Hey, you want to text Matt; you know it was you because every time you see you, you think that you matter. Matter fact, he doesn't even like you; he just wants your money girl. Who even likes you? 😈😈

You call me ugly, but maybe that is why we look alike.

My life is so sad it's because you're in it.

Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.

Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?

I am a good role model, because you look up to me. Deez nuts!

I'm Black, when a cop sees me, he shoots.

Yo mama so old, I bet she was born when dinosaurs were made, and also she killed them with they breath! 😭😭

Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"

The child said, "A mistake."

Me and my friend roasting each other.

Friend: You look like a baboon.

Me: Stop talking, you look like a gorilla, so I might call animal control on you and I'll be seeing you at the zoo!

Joe Mama so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!

You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.