Roast jokes

Bully: Your mom gay.

Me: There's something on your chin.

Bully: Where?

Me: No, on your fourth one.

You're so fat that you have to live on Pluto so you don't destroy any of the planets.

I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.

Butthole.

The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."

A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:

Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."

Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."

After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.

You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.

Yo mama so fat they faked COVID-19 just to put a mask on her.

What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?

I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

Whenever you wanna roast an orphan, say "yo mamma".

I would roast you, but I'm not supposed to burn trash.

1. Your face is so ugly, I thought it was deformed. It probably was anyways.

2. Even if Donald Trump had time to build a wall, it was probably so you won't squish us with your fatass.

If someone says your face is deformed, just say that's what happens when I look at you.

Welcome.

Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.

Them: You're ugly.

Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.

Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"

The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"

Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."

What's Moby Dick's dad's name? Papa Boner.

Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"

The child said, "A mistake."

I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.

Yo mom's so old, she was happily accepted into the museum.

My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.

If ugliness was a brick, you would be the Great Wall of China.