Roast jokes

My sister said that you know that "that" is really cool. Then I said, "You know you can shut up."

You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.

I would roast you but you're already so hot.

Earth is full. Go home!

You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.

Yo mama's so fat that when she went sky diving, she caused another global extinction.

You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.

My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.

Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said: "To be continued."

Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.

I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!

Joe mama so dumb she studies for the COVID test.

Joe mama so fat, she could not walk the stairs of heaven.

Credits: to my friend.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.

I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them.

When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨

you look like a dumb crab. When everyone sees you, the world will end.

I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"

You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.