Roast jokes
You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.
Boy, look at your hair. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol.
Yo mamma so stupid, she starved to death in a grocery store.
Bully: Your mom gay.
Me: There's something on your chin.
Bully: Where?
Me: No, on your fourth one.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
Joe mama so fat, hello kitty said goodbye.
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"
Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.
You have an entire life being an idiot, why not take a day off?
If ugliness was a brick, you would be the Great Wall of China.
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
You're cheap; no one even pays attention.
When someone says: "You're a mistake."
Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."
When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
If I'm ugly, why do you always look at me when I come in the door?
Just 'cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want you. I’m shocked anyone would.
What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A headbanger.