Roast

Roast jokes

Bus

Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.

Sun

Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"

Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.

Friend

Me: I know why you don't have friends.

Kid: Why?

Me: Because you can't even figure that out.

Alexa

I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."

Mama

Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.

People

Imagine being such a low life that you need people to roast you to have stuff to do.

Mom

You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

Mom

You're gay.

Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.

Hair

Boy, look at your hair. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol.

Sister

My sister said that you know that "that" is really cool. Then I said, "You know you can shut up."