Roast jokes
What's the difference between your dad and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back.
If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.
Your mom is heavier than Mariah can even carry.
Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.
Joe mama is so fat, Dora can't explore her.
I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.
Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
Yo mama is so fat, her car has stretch marks.
Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.
Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"
Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."
You're cheap; no one even pays attention.
Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.
Imagine being such a low life that you need people to roast you to have stuff to do.
You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A headbanger.
Boy, look at your hair. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol.
My sister said that you know that "that" is really cool. Then I said, "You know you can shut up."