Roast jokes

You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"

Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.

My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.

Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.

Joe mama is so fat, Dora can't explore her.

I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.

Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.

Yo mama is so fat, her car has stretch marks.

Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"

Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.

Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.

Me: I know why you don't have friends.

Kid: Why?

Me: Because you can't even figure that out.

I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."

You're cheap; no one even pays attention.

Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.

Imagine being such a low life that you need people to roast you to have stuff to do.

You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

You're gay.

Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.

What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A headbanger.

Boy, look at your hair. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol.

My sister said that you know that "that" is really cool. Then I said, "You know you can shut up."