Roast jokes

I would roast you, but I'm not supposed to burn trash.

Your hairline goes back to when Adam and Eve were born.

you look like a dumb crab. When everyone sees you, the world will end.

If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.

(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)

You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.

You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.

The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.

When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.

The direction I'm looking.

Your mom is heavier than Mariah can even carry.

Bro, whenever I look at you, Fortnite gets popular again.

Trevor is a bitch.

Teacher: Why were you late?

Me: Traffic.

Teacher: Did I did it?

Me: Did I even blame it on you?

I was thinking about you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.

Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?

Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.

I am a good role model, because you look up to me. Deez nuts!

Your dick is so small they thought you were a girl when you came into the world.

Me: Mom, we made a cake.

Bully: Guess what?

Me: What?

Bully: Nobody cares!

Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!

Your teeth are sponsored by gap.

Your mama so slow, she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.

Me: Do you know a funny joke?

Friend: Yes, you.