Roast jokes
You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.
The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.
When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.
The direction I'm looking.
Your mom is heavier than Mariah can even carry.
Bro, whenever I look at you, Fortnite gets popular again.
Trevor is a bitch.
Teacher: Why were you late?
Me: Traffic.
Teacher: Did I did it?
Me: Did I even blame it on you?
I was thinking about you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?
Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.
I am a good role model, because you look up to me. Deez nuts!
Your dick is so small they thought you were a girl when you came into the world.
Me: Mom, we made a cake.
Bully: Guess what?
Me: What?
Bully: Nobody cares!
Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!
Your teeth are sponsored by gap.
Your mama so slow, she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Me: Do you know a funny joke?
Friend: Yes, you.
Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"
Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.
Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.
Be careful around fire, plastic melts.
Your mum was so poor that she went to rob the bank, but she left because she couldn't find the cameras. She left her son, and the security [girl] gave him the camera.
Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.
Them: You're ugly.
Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.