
Roast jokes
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
Roses are red, violets are blue, it's really no wonder your mama left you!
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!
A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?
My wife told me to pass her lip stick, but I gave her a glue stick. Now she is not talking to me.
You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"
Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.
Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?
Me and your mom in the bed.
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.
Yo mama's so fat that when she went sky diving, she caused another global extinction.
Me: Are you an alien?
Friend: No.
Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.
Earth is full. Go home!
My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.
Girl: How much do you love me?
Me: Count the stars in the sky.
Girl: Aww, it's infinite!
Me: No, just a waste of time.
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.
If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.
Yo mama sooooooo fucking fat, when she takes a step, she needs a 5-min break.