Road jokes
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
What do you call a traffic light that tells you, "Don't look, I am changing!"
Why did your mom cross the road?
You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.
Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?
A: Stop looking, I’m changing!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
How did the fat person cross the road?
It rolled.
What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
Americans be like: "Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road."
England be like: "Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road."
Russians after a car accident be like: "Here in Russia, road is road."
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the idiot.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
*Silence*
Your hairline is the road to Eastern Cape.
Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?
A: They couldn’t go straight.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to Chick-fil-A.
What hates socialism but still uses roads, police, and says they support the military?
Dumb right wingers.
Why did that fish cross the road?
Just for the halibut (hell of it)!
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road? Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.