Road jokes
Why did the octopus cross the road?
Who knows and who cares?
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
Toilet paper cried across the road.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he wanted to.
I was riding my bike down the road!
When a car started coming, I started running.
It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
Because his cousin's name was Koshin, and he didn't want to live anymore.
Why did the Russian cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get the Chinese Daily!
Get it? I don't either--I get the New York Times!
Why did not the toilet paper make it across the road to escape the corono virise?
Why did the liberal cross the road?
(Ah, fuck this shit, I'm gonna kill myself!)
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To get to the other side of the TRACK.
What did the rapper say to the traffic jam?
"Move over, I'm about to drop some FIRE!"
Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone and the speed bump starts screaming?
Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the idiot.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
*Silence*