Road

Road jokes

Chicken

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To get the Chinese Daily!

Get it? I don't either--I get the New York Times!

Son

My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.

Ketchup

Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"

Brain

Why did my brother cross the road?

Because he was looking for his brain.

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Answer:

The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the British bastard and get the egg roll.

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the idiot.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

The chicken who?

*Silence*

Cyclist

I saw a cyclist in the road today, so I ran over him and he said in a robotic voice, "SHUTTING DOWN!"

Rapper

What did the rapper say to the traffic jam?

"Move over, I'm about to drop some FIRE!"

Speed Bump

Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone and the speed bump starts screaming?

Rapper

Why did the rapper cross the road?

To get to the other side of the TRACK.

Guy

Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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  • Drive

    They said I couldn't drive.

    Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.

    Night

    Driving on a road at night and hit a speed bump. Remember, there are no speed bumps... I hit Bambi!

    Baby

    What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?

    A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.

    Koala

    Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

    Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

    Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the koala.

    Q: Why did the tree fall over? A: The koala never let go.

    Q: Why did the kangaroo die? A: Because the koala landed on it.