Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
Road Jokes
Why did the frog cross the road to hop to his side, Bih?
Why did my brother cross the road?
Because he was looking for his brain.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer:
The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the British bastard and get the egg roll.
Say "traffic," and replace "r" with "h." It sounds like... that thicc.
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To get to the other side of the TRACK.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the idiot.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
*Silence*
Why did the Mafia cross the road?
Forget about it...
I saw a cyclist in the road today, so I ran over him and he said in a robotic voice, "SHUTTING DOWN!"
What did the rapper say to the traffic jam?
"Move over, I'm about to drop some FIRE!"
Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone and the speed bump starts screaming?
Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he wanted to.
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
Driving on a road at night and hit a speed bump. Remember, there are no speed bumps... I hit Bambi!
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken.
Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the koala.
Q: Why did the tree fall over? A: The koala never let go.
Q: Why did the kangaroo die? A: Because the koala landed on it.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It didn't; it got stuck in a crack.
The man walks into a bar, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player. The piano player starts playing the piano. The guy next to him asks where he got that. The man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes.
So the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside. He says to the genie, "I want a million bucks." The genie snaps his fingers, and a million ducks appear in the road. The man comes back inside and says, "Hey, that genie is a little hard of hearing." The man says, "Well, did you really think I'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?"
How do you know if a comedian is high?
Comedian: Why did the wings cross the road? To get to chicken.
