Road jokes
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.
Q: There were two tampons walking down the road the other day. Guess what they said to each other?
A: Nothing, 'cause they're both stuck-up cunts.
Why did a cop in the 1960s cross the road? To arrest a faggot for cross-dressing.
Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."
Why did the emo person cross the road?
TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE Haha.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by Gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph. His beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!
All the traffic stopping the cars, how do you spell that without any R’s?
That.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
What did the beer can say to the other? "Open me, please!"
What did the coconut say to the other? "Crack!"
Why did the jalapeño cross the road? I got spicy!
Why did the hubcap cross the road? Crack!
Why jazz, Jr. Get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the tornado cross the road? Let’s spin again!
Why did the turkey get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the bunny get to the side of the road? Get furry!
They named a road after George Floyd. It was a dead end, though.
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
Someone asked me where to find de wae?
I replied with: Oh, de wea, that's a shop. It's down the road.
This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer:
The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."
What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
Why did ItsFunneh go on the road? She so Draco looking at a car then the car runs over him, sad Draco.
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."