Road jokes
Why did the paraplegic cross the road?
Because they didn't have any handicapped parking spots on his side.
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.
Why did the van cross the road?
To get to the school for the little kids.
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he was stapled to the punk rocker.
Attention to everyone, I'm not going to be on for 2 weeks because I was in a bike accident, or more like a motorcycle accident. I was ran off the road when my 16 year old brother was taking me for a ride. Now I can't use my legs cause, well, you know. I will be taking a break because I don't want to move my legs that much.
Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. Because he/she wanted to watch the moooovie.
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
Why did an Indian cross the road?
To take a shit.
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
To get to the other preschool.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
Because he opened a corner shop on the other side.
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his mom said, "Ven bakac."
Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times? He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because these jokes are not funny.
Here's why the chicken crossed the road...
The chicken was on the run from a crazy-ass butcher ready to murder the poor thing, so the chicken crossed the road. The chicken was crossing the road, then a blind kid saw the chicken, and the kid was hit by a flying rock, his vision was blurred (what vision?) and was actually cured of the blind. The chicken ran and jumped into a truck's opening and was never seen again... The kid got up from the ground and looked at the road, to see the chicken was not there, and said..." The chicken crossed the road...." The kid yelled at everyone about the chicken crossing the road and got a lot of positive attention. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit were full of the chicken nonsense and gained widespread attention from N.A to Asia in only 1 day.
The butcher was arrested for the attempted murder of a joke animal and was sentenced to over 20 years in solitary confinement, and a few weeks later, the sentence was moved to a life sentence, and the butcher became known as The ChicKiller.
The End (hope you enjoyed, I was bored so I made this shit...)