Road jokes
I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Why did the one-eyed chicken cross the road?
To get to Birds Eye.
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
In India, whoever lives facing the roadside, this is for them.
Whenever it starts raining heavily, our homes turn into pool-facing homes because the roads disappear.
Why did I walk across the road?
To get hit by a car.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
His parents were on the other side!
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the baby cross the road? Because he wanted to die.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the idiot.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
*Silence*
Why did the student at Blacktown Girls cross the road? To go to heaven. HAHAHA
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the “shell” station.
The man walks into a bar, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player. The piano player starts playing the piano. The guy next to him asks where he got that. The man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes.
So the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside. He says to the genie, "I want a million bucks." The genie snaps his fingers, and a million ducks appear in the road. The man comes back inside and says, "Hey, that genie is a little hard of hearing." The man says, "Well, did you really think I'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?"
Yo mama so fat that when she crossed the road, people mistook her for a roundabout.
To make tea, road, road, road, road.
Case.
The space of space, Der der.
The chosen week was chosen.
Object.
Der mezzer lakes.
Why did the disabled kid cross the road?
(Why?)
He can't.
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.