Road jokes
Why did I walk across the road?
To get hit by a car.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he was stapled to the punk rocker.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because when they drive, they don’t need a license plate, because they don’t have a home.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Answer:
To prove it wasn't chicken!
Q: How did Helen Keller break her wrist?
A: Reading road signs.
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
Why did the cow want to cross the road?
To watch a mooooovie!!
Why did the disabled kid cross the road?
(Why?)
He can't.
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she wanted to have an affair with the rooster.
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."
Why did the chicken cross the rooooo o oooad?
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
What happened to the police that crossed the road?
They solved a murder involving the nut case.
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
Why did the Lego cross the road? He was on the wrong block!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the idiot.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
*Silence*