Road

Road jokes

Chicken

    • Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!

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    • Death

    • Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?

    Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Son: Why?

    Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.

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    • Road memes

    Flow

    • A black lady goes inside the drug store on Eight Mile Road in the city of Detroit, Michigan, and asks the pharmacist, "I would like to buy a box of tampons."

    And then the black lady is asked by the pharmacist, "Do you want to buy the box of mini pads, or do you want to buy the box of maxi pads?"

    And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

    And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

    And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

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    • Morgue

    • Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?

    Doctor: The morgue.

    Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!

    Doctor: And we're not there yet!

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    • Suicide

    • Btw friend here also wants to do suicide.

    Friend: Why did I cross the road? Me: To get to the other side. Friend: True!

    Friend: Hey let's go hang out at the forest today! Me: Ok *grabs ropes for the both of us and rushes outside bc this is a lucky day* Friend: Hey at least we did it!

    Friend: What's the best thing about me? Me: You will eventually end. Friend: Hmmmmmm . . . true!

    Friend: What historical time influenced you the most? Me: The great depression.

    If I could be an object I'd be glass because I'm see-through and I can shatter with the minimum difficulty immediately!

    My parents sometimes say I'm their sunshine! . . . because I'm painful if you look at me.

    Teacher: What does km/s mean? Me+like almost all of the class: *in unison* It means kill myself but misspelled.

    Friend: What's the best way to end a game? Me: With death. Friend: . . . Hmmm now that you think about it yeah! That's the best way!

    When you're about to jump down a cliff but you realize that you can't litter there.

    Google says that you're about 75% water but I'm made of 101% depression 101% anxiety 101% suicidal 101% stress.

    Brain be like will_to_live.exe, happiness.exe, and many more others not found also you have now got crippling_depression.exe, anxiety.exe, suicide_thoughts.exe, suicide_attempts, and stressful_life.exe so so so much many more.

    How do you keep weeds away? Just put a bucket of crippling depression and suicidal thought and attempts in the soil and then they just kill themselves. Problem solved.

    When you take antidepressants but they don't work it will just make you more depressed and that's a fact.

    A bored depressed suicidal person: *sees a dying person* Dying person: P-l-pls c-c-c-call m-me a-an amb-b-bulancccee *wheeze* *dies* Bored depressed suicidal person: Hmmmm ur an ambulance Dying person: *manages to get back up* Bored depressed suicidal person: Oooooohh goddddd Dying person: *in a demonic tone* BUT NOT FOR ME~

    Roses are red, Inside I'm dead, I have crippling depression, Some one pls shoot my head.

    When you finally open up to a person who you think will care and understand but it turns out that they don't. You: *panickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanicking*

    The only time you should lift your spirits up is when your gonna hang yourself.

    A made-up story starting now. So I went to school as usual. There's a school shooting. All the depressed suicidal people: *crave death* *walks up to shooter* all say KILL ME A made-up story starting ending.

    In this one the friend isn't suicidal. Friend: Wanna play a game? Me: Life wait no a game has a meaning. Friend: . . . *crickets* Friend: Calls suicide hotline. Me: Wait no!!!!!

    Me: *has crippling depression* *asks mom why I was born* Mom: Hmmm I think I was drunk and on a lotta drugs. Me: Hmmm tysm *gets the rope* Mom: *making hanging puns* Me: *hurries to the trash truck*

    Me: At this point I've lived about a decade depressed and suicidal that I don't struggle with it now, I'm good at it and it's all normal.

    Hope you enjoyed.

    Chicken

    • Why did the chicken cross the road?

    To eat Bob's arms.

    Bob went to hospital and had no arms.

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    Not Bob.

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    • Hedgehog

    • Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts.

    Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate.

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