Road jokes
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?
Organ harvesting.
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.
Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?
A: Stop looking, I’m changing!
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their way to the store to see their dad.
Floor on the road?
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
What did the pickle do on the road?
It said, "I'm Pickle Rick!"
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he was part of the Lazy Bones team!
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.
T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎