Road jokes
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
Memes
While I was walking on the road, a cat crossed my road, and 5 min later I found it fell in the gutter.
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he was part of the Lazy Bones team!
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
Why did the woman cross the road?
What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
Why did the straight white caucasian male cross the road?
Because a black person was approaching.
Chuck Norris sent the chicken back across the road.
Yesterday, I tried to help a little girl by a road stop crying. I asked her where her parents were, and that made her cry harder. So then I asked her where her house was, and she said with tears, "I don't have one." So I got her in my car and drove her to where she said she was living. It was an orphanage.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
How did Princess Diana cross the road?
Through the windshield!
Why didn't Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Because he rolled over to the other side!
Why did the orphan run into the street? To get to the other side of life.