Road jokes
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
While I was walking on the road, a cat crossed my road, and 5 min later I found it fell in the gutter.
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
Why did the straight white caucasian male cross the road?
Because a black person was approaching.
Why did the woman cross the road?
What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.
Why did the disabled kid cross the road?
(Why?)
He can't.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.
T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀
Why did the orphan cross the road?
So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she wanted to have an affair with the rooster.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he was part of the Lazy Bones team!
Yesterday, I tried to help a little girl by a road stop crying. I asked her where her parents were, and that made her cry harder. So then I asked her where her house was, and she said with tears, "I don't have one." So I got her in my car and drove her to where she said she was living. It was an orphanage.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!