Road Jokes

What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike.

Runover.

Did you hear about Alicia's car accident? She was really drunk and all over the road Until she was all over the road.

-Why did the Indian cross the road? -Because he opened a corner shop on the other side.

A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him, the first man says, " I have been waiting to cross here for ages, its impossible to cross " the second man says, "there is a zebra crossing up the road", he said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am".

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Why did the stoner cross the road? He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.

Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.

Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by and orphanage but then relies, there's no speed bumps here...

Why did an Indian cross the road? To take a shit

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.

The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."

The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."

The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"

Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the other side

why did zozo the hobo cross the road

to et the pringles

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.

Why did the nose cross the road to find the person who nose

What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road? A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.

I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident" (I gotta go pay him out of jail)