Road jokes
Why did Bruce Jenner cross the road?
To see how the other side felt!
Chuck Norris sent the chicken back across the road.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To Cock-A-Doodle Die. Now you have a rooster pancake. My favorite. ^^
Hello! Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken!
Why did the retard cross the road?
He never made it!
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.
Why did Pinocchio cross the road?
To get to the other lied.
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
What’s big and black on the road?
Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.
A guy walks into an AA meeting and asks for a road map.
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.
Americans: We drive on the right side of the road.
The British: We drive on the left side of the road.
Russia: ROAD IS ROAD. *crashing noises follow*
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To get to the real estate agent.
Are you a highway? Because I wanna lay on you.