A guy walks into an AA meeting and asks for a road map.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
Why did the retard cross the road?
He never made it!
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
Hello! Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken!
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To get to the real estate agent.
Are you a highway? Because I wanna lay on you.
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side!
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.
Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
Because he opened a corner shop on the other side.
A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him. The first man says, "I have been waiting to cross here for ages. It's impossible to cross."
The second man says, "There is a zebra crossing up the road." He said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am!"
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.
