Road

Road jokes

Add joke

I was riding my bike down the road!

When a car started coming, I started running.

It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)

Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the koala.

Q: Why did the tree fall over? A: The koala never let go.

Q: Why did the kangaroo die? A: Because the koala landed on it.

Why did that fish cross the road?

Just for the halibut (hell of it)!

A robber robbed a bank and ran into the road and got hit by a car.

The cops said to him, "That's CARma for you!"

A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him. The first man says, "I have been waiting to cross here for ages. It's impossible to cross."

The second man says, "There is a zebra crossing up the road." He said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am!"

My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.

  • 0

    • I saw a cyclist in the road today, so I ran over him and he said in a robotic voice, "SHUTTING DOWN!"

    Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.

    Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.

    Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.

  • 1

    • Why did the skeleton not cross the road?

    Because it did not have the guts.

    There are three men walking down the road, and they come across a farm that is for sale. The three men look at each other and put all their money together to buy the farm. On that farm, there is a cow, a monkey, and a bunch of cow food. The men are out of money, and the farm is going out of business.

    One of the men sees that there is a contest for the biggest cow in the county. They entered the contest, but the cow is so thin. Every time they tried to feed the cattle, it would poop and lose weight again, so one of them suggested that they put a cork up the cow's behind. The first guy says, "Okay, then go put a cork there."

    "I don't want to do it. You do it."

    "No, you do it."

    The third guy says, "Let's just get the monkey to do it." And the monkey puts the cork in the cow's behind. They win the biggest cow contest and get the money they need to save the farm.

    The second guy realizes that they need to take the cork out of the cow. "Guys, we need to take the cork out of the cow," he says.

    "Well, I'm not going to do it. You do it."

    "No, you do it."

    The third guy says, "Let's just get the monkey to do it again." So the monkey uncorks the cow, and there was a huge explosion. A few days later, the three men wake up in the hospital.

    The doctor walks up to the first man and asks, "What happened?"

    The first man replies, "All I remember is that horrible sound."

    The doctor walks up to the second man and asks, "What happened?"

    "All I remember is that horrible smell..."

    The doctor walks up to the third man and again asks the same question. The third man looks at him and says, "All I remember is that poor poor monkey trying to put the cork back in."

  • 4

    • Why did the pedophile cross the road?

    Because there was a school on the other side.

    Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

    A: To get the Chinese Daily!

    Get it? I don't either--I get the New York Times!