the whole solar system is one big family right? but everyone circles the SON.

Trump’s medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.

women’s rights.

anything can be funny with the right delivery except for abortion jokes cause there is no delivery

Two boys are talking on the bus Boy 1: I feel like i’m forgetting something. Boy 2: hey did you hear about that school shooting last week? Boy 1: oh that’s right

On the lines of “I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous”,

I’m dying to live forever !

Anyone who says they dont like cats, has never had one cooked right…

Man I love this joke: Women’s rights

what the difference betwenn a feminist and Kim Jong un? Kim jong un has rights

Women are like dogs… “Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?” “Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?” “I’ll wait right here… I’ll wait right here… I’ll wait right here…”


A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.

They had great seats right behind their teams bench.

After the game the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.

“Oh, I really liked it!” she replied, “Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, “What do you mean?”

She said, “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!’ I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!”

So I was f**g this bh right, and I thought I had aides. So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get aides. Now what I’m wondering is where the hell does an eight year old get aides?! I guess my sister needs new friends…

How are guys and tile floors alike

If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years

After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don’t you have any positive news for me?! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!

What is sprinkled around the pokemon floor? Oh right. Ash’s ashes.

What did niki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?

Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you.

Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic? A: Right where you left em.

Did you hear about the guys hole left side got cut off! But he’s all right now

[god creating sharks] god: ok give them 3 rows of teeth. Angel: seems excessive but ok. God: and make them mean as hell. Angel: wtf y. God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO. Angel:… god: and make one of the types have a hammer for a head angel: why do I still work for you? God: because I’m the only employer as of right now.

Is it all right… When there is nothing left?