Riddles
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
What's yellow, slimy, and smells like bananas?
Monkey puke.
Why don’t orphans have parents?
'Cause they were abandoned.
What do you get when you goblin with a shark?
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
What is brown and sticky?
The leftovers of the iceberg.
Why don't witches wear underwear?
So they can get a better grip on their broom.
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
Crack me, break me, love me, and you ate me--egg.
What is wet going up and wet going down but doesn't move?
A mountain!
hehehehehehehehehehe
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special Forces.
Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
A. Toothpaste.
Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
Q. What's the most musical bone?
A. The trom-bone!
Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?
A. Calculus homework.
What is black when it’s clean and white when it’s dirty?
Answer: A chalkboard.
What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?
Answer: Your right elbow.
You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?
All of them are married!
There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?
Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.