Riddle jokes
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
What is a dog with only two legs? A human.
What falls but never gets hurt? Snow.
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
Why tie when you can knot?
Why did the lettuce win the race?
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a tomato?
The tomato gets picked.
What has four legs and one arm? A Doderman in a playground.
What's black, has four wheels, and sits at the top of the stairs?
Steven Hawking after a house fire.
Why was Balls afraid of Magic?
Because Magic eight Balls.
If bedbugs live in beds, where do cockroaches live?
What's yellow, slimy, and smells like bananas?
Monkey puke.
What's the difference between a cactus and a school bus?
On a bus all the little pricks are on the inside.
What’s yellow and can sink a bus full of kids?
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?
Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!
What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.
What do you call a black person in a dark room?
Invisible.