Retardation jokes
My boyfriend entered a retarded contest, but they said no because they don’t allow perfectionists.
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
1. Full name: John.
2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.
3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.
4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.
5. Mental health: mentally retarded.
6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.
7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.
8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.
9. Working motivation: none.
I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.
Don't use Head and Shoulders, just use Head; otherwise, you'll end up in the retarded situation Stephen Hawking went through.
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.
What do you call a retarded cow?
Vegan (vegetable).
So three retards walk into a classroom...
Sike, it was the garbage. They mistook it for their classroom.
What do you call a retard with AK special forces?
What do you call a retarded duck?
Fuck duck and lick my balls.
What do you call your retard friend?
A homie with an extra cromie.
What's that stupid girl in your class called?
Thot.
My mom said you failed school. I said, "Don't be surprised, I'm a retard, Mom."
What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?
Pot roast.
What do you call a retarded Mexican?
Ricardo.
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!
What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.
If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).