Retardation jokes

Why did the retard cross the road?

He never made it!

You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.

You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.

You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.

It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.

Alya is so retarded.

The other day my mom called me a retard.

I'm now an orphan.

My mom said you failed school. I said, "Don't be surprised, I'm a retard, Mom."

Died and came back sped. I call that rien-tardation.

What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?

Call them retarded.

A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.

How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.

Click...uh Click..........,.UH!!

Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.

(mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)

Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?

All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”

What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair.

Yo mama is so retarded, they tell her it was gonna be chilly outside, she went and got a bowl!

What do autistic retards and birds have in common?

They both flap their arms, lol.

What do you call a retarded Mexican?

Ricardo.

What do you call your retard friend?

A homie with an extra cromie.

I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.

If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.

Why do people think Mozart was autistic?

Because he was probably retarded.

If I found BlessedBrian's jokes FUNNY, I would be just as retarded as HIM.

What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?

The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.

Your name is so damn retarded you got sent to the animal farm.