Retardation

Retardation jokes

Potato

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.

A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."

Democrat

You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.

You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.

You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.

Girlfriend

It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.

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  • School

    My mom said you failed school. I said, "Don't be surprised, I'm a retard, Mom."

    Kid

    What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?

    Call them retarded.

    Saw

    A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.

    Lightbulb

    How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.

    Click...uh Click..........,.UH!!

    Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.

    (mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)

    Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?

    All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”

    Mama

    Yo mama is so retarded, they tell her it was gonna be chilly outside, she went and got a bowl!

    Homie

    What do you call your retard friend?

    A homie with an extra cromie.

    Autism

    Why do people think Mozart was autistic?

    Because he was probably retarded.

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  • Bird

    What do autistic retards and birds have in common?

    They both flap their arms, lol.

    Tree

    What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?

    The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.

    Name

    Your name is so damn retarded you got sent to the animal farm.

    Contest

    My boyfriend entered a retarded contest, but they said no because they don’t allow perfectionists.