I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.
So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!
What do you call a bunch of retarded preschoolers? Tater tots.
What do u call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup
You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.
How do you kill a retard?
Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.
Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."
Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."
"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."
Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."
What do you call a retard that got hit by a car? Mashed potatoes
I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."
Me: I'm retarded.
Teacher: Why?
Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."
What do you call a retard with a ak special forces
"Confucius say: Man go asy, full retard. It's an art, a weapon, and a lifestyle. Once you go full retard, there is no going back."
Don't use Head and Shoulders, just use Head; otherwise, you'll end up in the retarded situation Stephen Hawking went through.
I told my dad that I’m gay. He replied, “No, you're retarded.” Then he went off to kiss a baby.
what do you call 1 normal kid,and 2 retarded kids,smoking weed? pot roast.
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
What did the Asian people name their retarded son?
Sum Ting Wong.
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
The doctor told me I was so retarded, I was required to ride two wheelchairs.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
