Retardation jokes

What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?

Vegetable soup.

Me: What do you call a group of retards?

Friend: Down town?

Me: Nope, target practice.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the retard's house.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.

So I was sitting at a bar, right? That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.

I'm fucking retarded.

What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?

They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.

Uh!!!

Fortnite is gay and rëtarded.

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.

Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."

Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."

"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."

Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

Me: I'm retarded.

Teacher: Why?

Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."

What do you call a retard with AK special forces?

"Confucius say: Man go asy, full retard. It's an art, a weapon, and a lifestyle. Once you go full retard, there is no going back."

Don't use Head and Shoulders, just use Head; otherwise, you'll end up in the retarded situation Stephen Hawking went through.

I told my dad that I’m gay. He replied, “No, you're retarded.” Then he went off to kiss a baby.

What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?

Pot roast.

What did the Asian people name their retarded son?

Sum Ting Wong.

In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.

One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”

What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?

A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).

The doctor told me I was so retarded, I was required to ride two wheelchairs.