Retardation jokes

Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.

How do you kill a retard?

Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"

I told my dad that I’m gay. He replied, “No, you're retarded.” Then he went off to kiss a baby.

What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.

It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.

You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.

You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.

You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.

What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?

They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.

Uh!!!

What's the definition of total chaos?

A bus load of retards passing a magnet factory.

I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.

So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!

I'm fucking retarded.

The doctor told me I was so retarded, I was required to ride two wheelchairs.

When her head game is so strong, she sucks the chromosome right out of you.

Retards.

How did two retarded people get ran over in one second?

They're my friends.

What do you call a retarded Catholic?

Asperges.

Me: What do you call a group of retards?

Friend: Down town?

Me: Nope, target practice.

What does a middle aged man live in?

A retarded kid he keeps in the van.

I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.

If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.

You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.

"Confucius say: Man go asy, full retard. It's an art, a weapon, and a lifestyle. Once you go full retard, there is no going back."