Retardation jokes

Why are retards good at basketball?

'Cause they dribble all the time!

How did the retard get hurt raking the leaves?

Fell out of the tree.

What’s the hamburgler’s retarded cousin? Aspergler.

The retards take the ancestry tests at 24andMe.com.

Nevermind, it's retarded.

What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.

What do you call a retarded fruit?

Mentally in-pear-ed.

When the school shooter says to get on the ground, but the sped kid thinks it's Simon Says!

So, a retarded kid's mom drops her kid off at school and says, "You better stop the bus today, because I’m not picking you up." So he agrees, and he arrives at the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The next day, the mom says the same thing, and the kid goes to the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The third day, his mom says, "I don’t care if I have to jump out in the middle of the road, you better stop that bus!" So the kid goes to the bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says, "Stop!" The bus driver runs over him. A nearby lady stops the bus and says, "Why’d you run that poor kid over?" and he responds, "'Cause he was making fun of me" (in a retarded voice).

I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.

So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!

"Mixed vegetables is just special ed class, change my mind."

What's a mentally retarded person's favorite color? Clear.

When her head game is so strong, she sucks the chromosome right out of you.

What's the definition of total chaos?

A bus load of retards passing a magnet factory.

What do you call a bunch of retarded preschoolers? Tater tots.

Retards.

How do you kill a retard?

Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"

You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.

Me: What do you call a group of retards?

Friend: Down town?

Me: Nope, target practice.

What do you call a retard that got hit by a car? Mashed potatoes.