Retail jokes
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Where do T. Rexes shop? Dino-stores.
I saw a robbery at the Apple store.
Am I an iWitness?
What do a Family Dollar and an orphan have in common? They both have a "f" in "family."
I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨
"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race
What store is the most public?
Publix!
Kobi shops at Aldi.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
Why do emos get discounts at every shop? Because they have barcodes on their wrists.
I like dicks... sporting goods.
Why can't orphans go to Costco?
Because it's a family shop.
A girl asked her mom, "Why is my name Walmart?"
Her dad replied and said, "Because that’s where you were made."
Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."
Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost? The nearest Shell station.
I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.
Why does Michael Jackson like to shop at Walmart?
Little boys' pants are half off!
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.