I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.
If Stephen Hawking is dying, where do I take him, Currys PC World, or a hospital?
Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.
Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.
...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."
Robber: This is a robbery, bitch!
Gunsalesman: No u
Yo mama's so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.
What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?
Little boys' pants half off.
I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.
I go to the shop and buy 2 pints of kimo.
Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"
Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."
What's a pirate's favorite shop?
Arrrrrrrrgos.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.
What do dogs do when they lose their tail? -- They go to the retail store.
Where did the cat go when it lost its tail? -- To the retail store!
The thing I don't like about shopping centers...
When you see one, you've seen a mall.
