Restaurant jokes
Donald Trump has been banned from Panera.
Curry.
So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.
Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?
Jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool. Then Jack came in and asked Jill if she wanted to ride in his new car. She said, "I have to think." Then Jack said, "At least let me buy you a drink." After 5 drinks, he asked again. This time she said yes, so they got in the car and Jack and Jill rode up a hill to Jack's home. Then Jack said, "Close your eyes, I got a surprise!" So Jack lead Jill to his room then said, "Open your eyes!" So Jill opened her eyes, then Jack got them some red wine. Jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and Jack said, "I know you wanna." She said, "No way!" So Jack gave her one more drink, then she passed out. Then Jack ripped all his clothes off. Then he did the same to Jill. Then he did it till 3am.
I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
What do you call a stuck Panera Bread?
Panera Wedged.
Two Indians went to a fine restaurant. They ordered parathas with curry. HAHAHAHAHA
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.
Ok guys, I have one last joke (for now).
What do you call it when Panera is over?
Panera end.
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
Have you ever had Ethiopian food?
Don't worry, neither have they.
How did the chicken 🐔 feel after escaping the fry cook?
Clucky!
Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
What is long and the line is black?
The line at KFC.
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
Why was the chef embarrassed?
He saw the salad dressing.
Where do you order nonbinary pizza?
Little xe/xyrs.
If McDonald's is fast food, then Dairy Queen is fast cream.