Restaurant jokes
We were going to McDonald's, but we ran into your hairline!
"Pizza place, pizza place, are you there?"
"You're ass heck bye."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to KFC.
What do you call a shedding Panera Bread?
Panera Shed.
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Joe's pizzeria and abortion clinic.
Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.
Where do depressed people go to eat?
Suicide Sonic.
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."
"Mitchnite burger."
New Orleans cuisine has always been my favorite; however, I only eat gumbo on oc-cajun.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"
At what speed is the curry going at?
In a hurry to the curry, man!
A man and a cow walk into a McDonalds, and the man walks up to the front counter and says, “I’d like one beef burger.” The employee of McDonalds said, “Sure thing sir, also I really like to see your cow, may I bring him into the back room really quick to show my co-workers?” The man says, “Sure.” The employee takes the cow into the back room. A couple minutes later, the employee came back with his burger. The man took a bite of it, and realized his cow was gone.
Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"
I said, "On a stove!"
What do McDonalds and priests both do?
They both put their meat between 10-year-old buns.
I love going to Hooters and looking at the menu... If you know what I mean;)