Why do squirrels love dick?
Because it produces nut.
Why are dogs born with balls?
They were having their stick moment when they got given birth, too.
This is Riley abortion clinic. Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.
Sex is like math.
Subtract the clothes, add the bed, divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
How do you know if a black lady’s pregnant?
You put a banana up her vagina and see if any little monkeys come and get it.
Why don’t babies pollinate flowers?
God chose Plan B.
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?
Mary had a great big ram, his fleece was white as snow, when on hands and knees our Mary went, his wad was sure to blow.
Month by month her belly grew, increasing in its girth, and when five months had flown by, our Mary did give birth.
And Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little lamb...
Sex is like math.
You add a bed.
Subtract the clothes.
Divide the legs.
And pray you don’t multiply.
Why are vaginas and the Mariana Trench similar? Lots of seamen go missing there.
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
You'd think the Catholic Church would be thankful for condoms, less DNA evidence.
Wanted: Sperm donors. Please come quickly!
Children in the dark make mistakes.
Mistakes in the dark make children.
Why didn't the wife want sex?
Because they were having too many babies.
Q: What did the fetus say to the tongs?
A: See you on the flip side.
Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?
A: Eggs.
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
