Reproduction jokes
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched her thigh and said, "Do you wanna?" Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and they had some fun.
But silly Jill forgot her pills, and so they had a son.
How do you get a hippy pregnant?
Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
I once gave birth to 3 children.
If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?
Two swallows.
Why do cows have babies?
They moo-ved together.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!
So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?
Are you a printer? Because you turn my soft copy into a hard copy. Dark..Humor :)
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
Uder the sheets.
Under the sheeeets. Me and your mother making your brother.
Under the sheets. Do do do do dododoodoooddododoodo.
SEX KIDS FUCKING VIRGINS
What do cannibals call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Surprise.
What did Sophie Brussaux's baby get every week?
A face full of sperm.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Joy.
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
Just cum.
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?