Repair jokes

We have some leak in the fridge. I'm surprised nobody has called a plumber.

Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians? Because they can’t find the motherboard.

Where does Stephen Hawking get his computer fixed?

At PC World.

How do I fix a broken light bulb? I don't. I simply blow up the house.

When Bob the Builder looks at your hairline, he says, "We can't fix that."

Why did the rapper go to the auto shop?

To get his RHYMES in TUNE.

Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus?

It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.

My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.

My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

What kind of fruit can fix your sink?

A plum-ber.

I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"

What does a broken down vegetable say?

I need new wheels.

What is burned dark and glued to the wall?

A bad electrician.

My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower. Thanks, Phil!

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

Hit your wife harder.

I'm like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside.