Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians? Because they can’t find the motherboard.
I'm like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside.
What is burned dark and glued to the wall?
A bad electrician.
Friend: I broke up with Sara.
Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.
Friend: How did her pussy feel?
Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.
Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, the comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"
Why are most absent dads mechanics
They like to nut and bolt
What do you do when your dish washer stops working
Hit your wife harder
I work in a garage and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said,"why wont my car go straight
What does a broken down vegetable say? I need new wheels.
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
How do I fix a broken light bulb? I don't. I simply blow up the house.
What’s the difference between women and cars? At least cars retained some their values after getting wrecked
Q. What do you use on your tuba when it breaks
A. A tuba-glue
Bob the builder took one look at you and said “nah I can’t fix that”
I raped a disable child I think she's too far to repair now
where do u take Stephen hawking when he dies
the apple repair store
How many orphans does it take to repair a house. None, they don't have one
my water was leaking, so i used flex tape. now i don't know where to shower. Thanks Phil
Throw a plate.. It’s broken right?.. Say “sorry” to it.. Did it fix back?.. No..that’s the Same thing you did to me:)
