Repair jokes
My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
What kind of fruit can fix your sink?
A plum-ber.
Why did the rapper go to the auto shop?
To get his RHYMES in TUNE.
What do you call a duck that can fix anything? Duck tape.
What do you do with a broken bird? You re-parrot!
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
You are so fat Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix it!" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Knock knock.
- Who's there?
- The doorbell repairer.
Where does Stephen Hawking get his computer fixed?
At PC World.
I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.
My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower. Thanks, Phil!
We have some leak in the fridge. I'm surprised nobody has called a plumber.
Throw a plate.
It’s broken, right?
Say “sorry” to it.
Did it fix back?
No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)
How do I fix a broken light bulb? I don't. I simply blow up the house.
What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.
Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"
How many orphans does it take to repair a house? None, they don't have one.