Repair jokes
When Bob the Builder looks at your hairline, he says, "We can't fix that."
What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians? Because they can’t find the motherboard.
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower. Thanks, Phil!
Stephen Hawking had a heart attack the year before his death.
They took him to PC World for repairs.
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
How do you make a plumber cry?
Break his pipes...
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
Q: What do you use on your tuba when it breaks?
A: Tuba-glue.
I'm like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside.
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
What is burned dark and glued to the wall?
A bad electrician.
What do you call a duck that can fix anything? Duck tape.
What do you do with a broken bird? You re-parrot!
Where does Stephen Hawking get his computer fixed?
At PC World.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit your wife harder.
As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.
So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."
You are so fat Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix it!" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1