Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father
What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing his mouth was full.
What happened to the eight year old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church? The priest stopped him on the way there
I only believe in 12.5% of the bible. I'm an EIGTHeyist
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
Guy: why can't Jesus have M&M's priest: why? Guy: because they'll fall through the whole in his hands
Why did the child cross the road? To get to the church. Knock-Knock. Who's there? The Priest... Lets go to my office, because I'm totally not a pedophile.
What's the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?
Baby Jesus died a virgin
God
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says " Come! Meet Jesus!" One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first"
Why is a tree brown. If you are thinking about this you are rasice.
Man walks up to a priest. The man says "I am Jesus Christ." The priest says "No you are not my son." The man says " Follow me." The man walks into the bar and the bartender says "Jesus Christ your back!"
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f... altar boys
A 6 year old girl decides to get baptized, she walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her In the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl was drowned and died... later on when the pastor was better and thrown in jail. All he had to say to the mortified family was “well, at least she’s in heaven!”
A man decides on a day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet and paws. "What is the matter with you?" the man thinks aloud. "Well, that's how I was born, I'm actually a faulty parrot" says the bird. "Haha," the man laughs, "it seems like that parrot understands what I'm saying and even answers!" "I understand everything you say, I am extremely intelligent and very well educated," says the bird. "Well, if you're so smart then tell me how you can stay on your stick without legs." "Well," says the parrot, "it's a bit embarrassing, but okay, I wrap my little parrot penis around the stick, like a hook, but I hide that with my thick feathers." "Wow, you really understand everything I say, do not you?" "Yes, yes," replies the bird, "and I speak Spanish and English fluently, I can speak on a level about almost everything, politics, religion, sport and philosophy and I specialize in bird science, you should buy me, I am also a very good friend for you. " The man looks at the price tag, 200 euros is on it. "Sorry, I can not afford that." "Psst," whispers the parrot as he beckons the man with his wing closer. "Nobody wants me because I do not have legs, just bid 25 euros and you can take me with you." The man offers 25 euros and walks 5 minutes later with the parrot out of the store. A few weeks pass. The parrot is sensational. He is fun and interesting, gives good advice, is sympathetic to everyone, in short; the perfect roommate and friend. One day the man comes home from work and the parrot says "Pssssssssssst" while he beckons his wing again. The man comes close to the cage. "I do not know if I should tell you this," says the parrot, "but it's about your wife and the postman." "What!?" says the man. "Well, the postman came to the door and your wife greeted him in a nothing disguised nightgown and kissed him flat on the mouth." "And then," the man hisses, "What happened then?" "Well, the postman came in, grabbed her nightgown and started caressing her everywhere." "My God," says the now furious man, "And what else did they do?" "Then he took off her nightgown, went through his knees and started to lick her everywhere, starting at her breasts and getting further and further down." "And then, what happened, what else did they do?" the man screams . "No idea," says the papgaai, "I got a boner and thundered off my stick ..."
I moved all the bibles to the fiction section because there is no god as said Stephen Hawking in 2011 but in 2018 god said there was no Stephen Hawking
If were all gods children.. whats so special about jesus?
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?
"Let us prey together."
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest from a zit, one waits until your twelve to come on your face.
