Religion jokes
Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?
A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.
This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing: "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"
So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with, "I have two parrots as well, they are always praying, and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a Christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours."
They proceed to do so, and the lady's parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?" and the pastor's parrots reply with "Johnny, drop your beads and lift your heads, our prayers have been answered!"
Jesus tried solving the Rubik's cube,
but died on the cross.
Yo mama so old, she was a waitress at the last supper.
From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.
My name shows it all if you can't see, IDC AT ALL, you can ban me.
But let me tell you one thing, Without God, Isr-el is nothing.
So let me say it again, one last time, Free Free Palestine!
Joke time!
Now, Heaven or Hell?
Heaven: we got clouds.
Hell: we got a frickin' private yacht!
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?
"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"
Yo mama so fat that she would die before reaching the gates of heaven.
POV: When the orphan kid goes to church and they have to swear on something.
The kid: "I swear on my... friends. Oh wait, I don't have any."
Why don't you see black people with Down syndrome?
Because God doesn't punish someone twice.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.
Yo mama so fat, she the reason why Moses split the Red Sea.
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
Your hairline is so far back that not even God knows about it.
Ever wonder why pride month is so hot?
It's just a free trial of what's to come for the celebrators...
Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.