My mum is a vegan. She brings us to after school seitan.
What do you call a Christian Asian?
Hao Li.
Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
There's no smoke or fire without a Muslim.
A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.
A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.
When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
What's the slogan for a Muslim gym?
Might in dynamite.
When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?
Father Les.
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
Where do terrorists go for a drink?
At the Allahu-ak Bar.
HELP! I MIGHT BE A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST BECAUSE MY RHYMES ARE DA BOMB.
Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.
When God said, "Let there be light," he got blinded because you reflected it off your forehead.
So can we agree that Jesus was the first victim of cancel culture?
You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
