Religion

Religion jokes

A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.

What do Middle Eastern suicide bombers say before they blow up?

I weel sho u wot da bom bom is! ALLAH!

The phrase “Muslim women live in one of the hottest countries in the world and they can’t even expose their legs” has two meanings.

What is the difference between a priest and McDonald's? Nothing, they both stick their meat in between 12-year-old buns.

What is a similarity between priests and doctors?

They both have fetishes for their professions.

What's the difference between a priest and SpongeBob?

SpongeBob asks if you're ready first.

Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight-year-old girl, then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture, and train her as a suicide bomber.

What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?

They're both full of child groomers.

Guys, this is so disrespectful, I love Jesus. I go to church every Tuesday morning to give Jesus a... giffffffft.

So disrespectful guys. #jesusismyhubby

I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.