I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.
Religion Jokes
Why did Technoblade die?
Because God wished him dead for all the orphans he made fun of.
Come, my children, to the bread cult!
Why did Jesus come back from the dead? He forgot to tell you that you're gay!
It's important to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Nah, he got nailed...
Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.
Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.
Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."
What did God say to the black person?
"Oops, I burned one."😳
Not racist, just funny.
I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.
Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. 🤔
I am sure this was the type of economy Judas Iscariot was in when he betrayed Jesus.
Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.
Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?
Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.
Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.
Obv, unless you share your residence.
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
YOOO, does anyone need an ark? I know a guy!
Why are Demons dying from Priestwater? The soul from a Priest is completely different.
Is that my student?
Na! It is Jesus!
Is that a person over there?
Na, it's Jesus.
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?” When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the teacher said, “Very good,” and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Savior?” But, April didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. “JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April and the teacher said, “very good,” and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!” The Teacher fainted.
