Religion jokes
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
Your mama is so old, her first Christmas, she was a Wiseman's +1.
Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"
Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."
Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"
Your hairline looks like the stairway to hell.
Bent and far back.
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
Q: Why doesn’t Jimmy Swaggart worry about his premature ejaculation problem?
A: He believes in the second cumming.
Why do orphans love church?
They finally have a father.
When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"
Orthodox Christians are a little slow; they take 13 days to get the joke. So go easy on them, alright?
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
Kenneth's hairline [is] friends with Moses.
What's the difference between a Christian and a schizophrenic?
Nothing.
Do you love God?
What did the airplane say to the tower? Allahu Akbar!
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it!
Friday's opening is open. Religion: "Dark model?" Hopi, Kahan, Virra, Sayla, Salafa, Sales, Power, Sleep. Google is “that cave”.
Why are you guys making fun of priests?
Because you have a suga daddy already.
Muslims love to exaggerate, that's why they always blow things up.
What do you call a drunken Muslim?
Mohammered.
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."