What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
Why are Egyptian gods orphans?
Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a new bus) every year to make a prophet.
I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.
The priest is in jail now.
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.
The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"
The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel, and when all of a sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says, "Father, what is that?" He says, "This, sister, is the wand of life." The nun says, "Good, now go stick it in that camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of here!"
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Nah, he got nailed...
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight." He was a priest.
On a hot summer's day, a famous celebrity tweeted, "It is a beautiful day, and I'm deciding which kid to have fun with today." To which the local priest replied, "I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today."
The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? The rabbi cuts it off, and the priest sucks it off.
Jesus Christ said my faith can move mountains, so Mohammed said my faith can move skyscrapers.
And the Lord said onto John, "Come forth to receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
What do you call a burning church?
Holy smokes.
Like this if you laughed.
These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!
What do you call a private nun?
Nun-o-yo-business.
You'd think the Catholic Church would be thankful for condoms, less DNA evidence.
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
