Religion jokes
Why don't skeletons play music at the church?
Because they don't have any organs.
One Easter Sunday, a man goes to church and returns home with two black eyes.
His wife inquires as to how he got the black eyes.
The man goes on to say, “a lady stood up in front of me during mass, I saw her dress was stuck in her butt crack, so I reached out and tugged it out. She whirled around, became furious, and punched me in the eye.”
“That explains one black eye,” the wife says, “but what about the other?” The man explains, “I figured she must have liked her dress stuck up in her butt crack, so when she turned around I stuffed it back up there.”
God = what I hope to be.
Devil = what I can't accept.
I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes time to put you under.
If you look at this joke, you are going to meet a Catholic priest tomorrow.
What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash.
What's the difference between Axne and a priest??
One waits till you're 13 to come on your face.
Yo momma so ugly, the Devil started going to church!
What do you call someone who is half a Jew?
Jew-ish.
Guys, we gotta stop telling these jokes. They are getting out of h- oh wait no .... Continue.
Yo daddy so stupid, he threw a Father’s Day party at the orphanage.
What did the Catholic priest say to the other Catholic priest as they entered the orphanage? Let’s us prey.
God said the first person to kill Hitler goes to heaven.
Hitler: Kills himself.
Stephen Hawking said there is no god.
God said there is no Stephen Hawking.
Me playing a game........ What, did God just stop our hearts because he didn't kill everybody?
Why do orphans like going to church?
They can actually call someone "father."
Remember, the confession booth is not a glory hole.
What do you call a priest who became a singer?
Michael Jackson.
Why are you guys making fun of priests?
Because you have a suga daddy already.
You should always wash your sex toys. That’s why priests invented baptism.
What is red, pink, yellow, green, orange?
A black woman dressed for church.
What do you call a Muslim in a swimming pool? A bath bomb.