Religion Jokes

You should always wash your sex toys, thats why priests baptise babies

Why did Jesus play football

He was Spanish ayo

what is humble holy and helps? an angle...

If a priest listen to sad music in his church he really enjoys to be deep in minor

There is no god. None not one.

17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved they quickly resolved the threat.

in the movie cars 2,there is a priest which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars

Yo Hairline so far back it goes back to Jesus on the cross

My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room." "Islam it is."

What happened to the eight year old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church? The priest stopped him on the way there

Why were Adam and Eve's sons so much alike? Because Cain was Abel minded!!

Whats the difference between a jesus and the baby in my basement? Jesus died a virgin

Religion

Three nuns had to go before mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says have you sinned? Yes I have mother I have stolen a bicycle. Okay said mother Superior okay said mother Superior say 100 holy Marys and put dip your hand in the holy water... Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned she slept with a married man.. so mother Superior says okay save 500 hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way the third nun comes up and she says I peed in the holy water 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈

Why a Muslim girl don't like her dad and namaz. Bcz she has to get on her knees

Bible Verse of The Day-For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. —Romans 8:15-16

Wanna hear a joke? :Jesus being real

what do you call the christian version of donald trump? holy shit.

Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!) As they're approaching the Pearly Gates to be interview by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end. Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven. He says to the first nun : "Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man"? Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says : Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don't let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven". St. Peter says : "Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven". Sister Carmel sees what's going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently. "Pssst - hey Bernie"!, she says. Sister Bernadette asks : "What is it?" A little annoyed. Sister Carmel says : "Do you mind if we swap places"? Sister Bernadette replies : "What for"? Sister Carmel says : "Well, I wouldn't mind gargling before you stick your ass in there"!